“Baby mama drama”, Fad or syndrome?

No, you can't see your child!!!!

No, you can't see your child!!!!

When the term “Baby mama drama” became popular, it was typically used by  fathers.  Now this term is widely used by everyone.

What is “Baby mama drama”?

I define “Baby mama drama” as a parent who takes care of their obligations to their child or children (including but not limited to child support, insurance coverage, etc.) but isn’t allowed to see their child.

“Baby mama drama”, can go both ways.  It can be the father denying the mother, or the mother denying the father.  Typically it’s the mother denying the father visitation.  Hence “Baby mama”.

“Baby mama drama”, always steams from the separation of the parents.  In most cases, one or both of the parents have moved on to other relationships.  The feud begins.

There have always been single parents.  The difference from then and now are the circumstances.  Becoming a single parent wasn’t a decision, it was a situation.  In today’s society, it’s turned into a choice.

Yes, it has been said that the women should raise the kids and tend to the household, but the household included the husband/father.  The husband/father brought in the income, and supported his house and family.  The husband/father wasn’t denied seeing or being with his kids.

This is how it's suppose to be

This is how it's suppose to be

Today, we have more and more young mothers choosing to be a single parent, and their reason’s aren’t justifiable.  To choose, to deny a child both parents, should be a crime.

If you are receiving Child support, your child has health insurance coverage (paid by other parent), and your child never has a want or need, why would you keep the father from being with their seed?  Why would you keep a father who wants to see their children, a child who wants to see their father, away from each other?

What the “Baby mama” is failing to realize, is that they are hurting the child more than the father.  All the satisfaction gained from being vindictive can’t compare to the confusion and sadness the child feels and experience.

First comes loving. Then comes separation. Then comes the baby and the child support payments.  This is my remix of “Kissing in the tree” a song most of us sang as children.  When we were innocent and trying to interpret the world  through our eyes.

So, is “Baby mama drama” a fad or  syndrome?

In some communities there are cliques of women who have one thing in common “Baby mama drama”.  They talk about it, brag about it, exchange ideas, and boast about how they think they are getting over on the father.  These so called “idea’s” are advertised to other clique members who are “mothers to be”. They infect the expecting mothers with ‘Baby mama drama”.  This is the start of the next generation of “Baby mama drama.” It just keeps on spreading.  It almost like some type of badge.

Can the fear of the unknown cause “Baby mama drama”? Is it even fear, or  is it jealousy?

The truth of the matter is that, the problem is with the mother herself.  There is an issue beneath the layers of anger and resentment that should be dealt with.  Taking out your anger on someone else doesn’t solve any problem(s). What ever the issue  may be.  Not solving the problem, doesn’t help anyone become a better person.  And when you have a child, that should be a goal, to be a better person for yourself but mainly your child.

Most importantly, the focus should be on the child.  Not devious, or making someone’s life a living hell!  That shouldn’t be on anyone’s agenda, its a waste of energy and time!

The cycle needs to be broken.It need to be broken amongst, cliques and the younger generation .  It isn’t cool to deny any child their father.  We shouldn’t get use to the idea of being single parents unless its is necessary. Becoming a single parent shouldn’t be an option, it should be a situation!

It's the child that looses out

It's the child that looses out

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5 responses to ““Baby mama drama”, Fad or syndrome?

  1. This is a good blog. I’ll check back sometimes.

    Baby Mama Drama stems from disrespect. Disrespect the mother starts to feel for the man. Disrespect the man is showing her after she’s borne his child/ren. And usually- disrespect another woman is showing by insinuating herself into a family situation that is beyond the boundaries of a “girlfriend”.
    I’ve never heard of BMD that didn’t have another woman at it’s center.
    And to play devil’s advocate for a minute, sometimes the hurt that the man broke up the family to go pursue side shit is so deep that hell no, you don’t want him around your kids because you feel if he’d wanted his family, he’d have stayed home.
    And constantly seeing him, having to coordinate things with him or work with him just reopens the wounds. It’s hard for a woman to keep in mind a man’s good points when he’s turned her into a single mother and that’s NOT what she wanted to be.
    I have never heard of a situation where a woman didn’t want a man and was bringing the Drama. Or where a couple mutually broke up, no hard feelings and then she just wilded out and brought Drama.
    I don’t think it’s a fad. All the boundaries have been crossed to such an extent that family ain’t family no more. There’s no distinction between wives, mistresses and girlfriends. Everybody is swerving into other lanes. Men are just sitting back and enjoying the controversy for the most part. They have a new girl jumping thru hoops to try and be better than the “Baby mama”. The baby mother still sleeping with him whenever he’s nice to her and usually a side shorty that doesn’t know about either of the two that he can “escape” from the situation with. Until she pops up pregnant. Or starts asking for more than something casual.
    Until women just start exercising some self control, it’s going to be like this. men are always going to continue to do what they can get away with. It’s when they can’t find willing partners that the shit’ll stop.

  2. this was a great questions and a great blog.

    check out my take on the subject if you will

    http://mrlocario.wordpress.com/2009/10/09/mr-locarios-sex-dating-relationship-advice-dont-fall-into-the-baby-daddy-trap/

  3. Do you have a post on baby daddies? I don’t know anyone with BMD, but know several women with many problems concerning baby daddies. Through personal experiences, I believe our society has many more problems with BD, (or deadbeats,) than mothers seeking revenge.

    • Thank you for you comment. Its not about how many are doing what on either side. Its about the side effect this “fad or syndrome” is have on ours kids of tomorrows society. I personally know parents in both situations on both sides..

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